Shut up, have you ever played the game? I’d have my cock out if I scored four goals. I’d have my cock out, stroking it.
—Joe Thornton after hearing a member of the media ask Marleau if Hertl was “showboating” (source)
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tags: #favorite


>gettin hot and heavy w/ a girl

>she then tells me to talk dirty

>tell her that 10% of the world’s carbon dioxide emissions are stored in dirt

>she’s still turned on and now she knows a little more about mother earth

>copulate and educate

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the fuck did you say beau

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Telling the substitute teacher the wrong names: a classic. Telling the substitute teacher you are so old and born again every day, that ten thousand names could never define you, that you’re a shadowed mass swirling forth from jupiter, that your father is time and your mother is death, that you’ll swallow any scream of hers as you grow larger and ever larger: a super classic, king of the school, no homework ever.

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Girl: I want you to dominate me

Me: Ok


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question: would you rather fight 100 duck-sized charas or 1 chara sized duck?

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This is the best thing I have ever seen.

someone send this to sebastian stan stat

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